The Gift of Trust
Success is powered by relationships. And relationships are powered by trust. In our earliest interactions, trust isn't earned—it's given freely.
Example: ID Verification
Take the following example. Generally, we trust that a government issued photo ID is accurate and true, but why?
- A business might check that a person really lives in a state by checking the address on their ID. But where did that address come from?
- The government might issue the ID and address based on a recent utility bill. But where did that utility bill come from?
- The utility bill for your address can be created based on...your word?
Upon closer inspection, a stark reality comes into focus: it's all kind of fuzzy and probabilistic (who would pay a utility bill at a place they don't live?). Most forms of verification (a kind of trust), traced to their roots, are given freely.
Inductive Inferences
This is because trust is an inductive inference—a conclusion that is, at best, probable but never certain. Another more pointed example:
Every day for the past ten years, your coworker has shown up at 8:00am sharp. Tomorrow, she will show up at 8:00am sharp.
That’s a reasonable conclusion, but not certain! Or:
Every swan you’ve seen is white, so all swans are white.
Also a fair (and real) conclusion that is probable, but not guaranteed!
Inductive inferences mostly work and are generally helpful, but they’re not certain. And, as the swan example shows, they can never deliver deductive certainty. They’re a bit of a paradox1, yet used everywhere!
Earning Trust
We don’t really understand the most basic principles of the universe, yet we wake up expecting them to be the same. Trust functions the same way: each time we’re expected to do something—and we do—it reinforces others’ belief that we’ll act that way in the future. Each day that’s true, the rule becomes a little stronger.
The more evidence we have, the stronger and more valid the inductive inference becomes. This makes for a very strong argument for giving trust freely early on. We need examples to see if our inductive inference (I trust you) is accurate!
Likewise, if someone trusts us, treat it with care!
- The greater the trust, the more we have to lose.
- Others are constantly validating their belief structure; a single example to the contrary can be powerful (e.g., why it’s called a black swan event).
The Gift of Trust
So if trust given freely on the basis of nothing is where everyone starts, wouldn't success seem to be based on the gift of trust from others?
Naturally, this initial gift is limited to the small things. We're only trusted to the extent failure is acceptable. Everything else is built on that foundation, a flywheel of success that keeps turning for as long as that gift is taken care of.
Big Things
When you’re looking to do something big, you need a big flywheel—you need a lot of people to trust you. In the face of what seems insurmountable, knowing that each small trust‑affirming act in the service of others is a step toward our larger goal is a small but important comfort.
I try to keep my tolerance for giving unearned trust high. I hope others do, too. Because it’s only after that crucial first step that it begins to feed on itself; each next step propelled forward through goodwill. Eventually, you get:
- Resumes
- Promotions
- College Admissions
- Grant Proposals
- Book Deals
- VC Funding
- Security Clearances
- App Store Approvals
- Verified Accounts
- Press Credentials
- Diplomatic Visas
- Tenure Review
- Nobel Prize Nominations
When someone takes a chance on us it bridges gaps—launching us to that elusive place we could see, but couldn’t make progress toward. That’s trust given freely.
And, when someone asks you for that favor, consider giving it freely with generosity. After all, at one point someone took a chance on you, and aren’t we all in some way starting at the beginning?
This is the basis of Hume’s problem of induction, which argues that much of what we take to be knowledge rests on inductive inference. Because we don’t fully understand the nature of the most basic elements of the universe—upon which we base our understanding of everything else—induction can never guarantee certainty.↩